Colds

The last time I saw Santa his nose was redder than usual and his eyes were watery. It was a summer cold, the worst kind. This is what I learned.

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"I seldom have a summer cold. A winter one? You can count on it!

Christmas is a time for giving and every year the tons of toddlers I talk to give me their all - love, crumbly cookies, soggy kisses and a colossal cold.

Now I’m no expert on colds but this is what I’ve come to understand. The virus that causes them is constantly mutating or changing. Once you are exposed to a virus you will probably contract a cold. Then, when the illness has run its course and you are healthy again, you will have developed immunity to that particular strain and will be cold free until the next variation comes along.

Every year when I get back to the pole I introduce a new strain of virus. It’s not intentional but it’s inevitable. Sandy, my wife, will contract a cold first and shortly thereafter the infection wends it way through all our dependant Clauses and then the elves and elfesses. After everyone recovers the Pole will be cold free until after my next trip. As such, colds are not a huge problem for us.

There is one aspect of a cold, however, that is troublesome for me. This is particularly true if I contract a cold before I make deliveries on Christmas Eve. You see I have a tendency to sneeze. And when I sneeze, I SNEEZE!

If I’m in the process of making a delivery when the urge to sneeze is upon me naturally I have to do something to squelch it. I don’t want to wake anyone. In time honored fashion I will reflexively try to block it with my forefinger. That’s where I have the problem. Remember the line "--and laying a finger aside of his nose and giving a nod up the chimney he rose"?

All it takes is the least little nod and bam! I’m plastered against the ceiling.

Most people hate summer colds. I don’t like them, but quite honestly if I have to have a cold, under the circumstances, a summer one is preferable to a winter one."

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And with that he was off, hanky in hand.

Until next month . . .

Santa’s Friend

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